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Ode to Lav​-​Lav

from Muggle Knitting Patterns by Roonil Wazlib

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lyrics

Oh, baby, I really hate to call you baby
I’d rather call you by your first name
Actually, I’d rather not talk to you at all

Oh, baby, I’d rather be with Hermione
I know you’re jealous of her, aren’t you?
Actually, I don’t care if you mind

‘Cause Lavender Brown, you’re going down
You may be hot, but Hermione’s hotter
I’m the Gryffindor king, but you can’t share my crown
Hermione’s great, and the problem is, you’re not her

Oh, baby, I know you’re pretty fun to snog
But only snogging’s kind of boring
And I’m sort of worried that you’ll give me an STD

Oh, baby, I hate the way you call me ‘Won-Won’
And that lame necklace you gave me
I’ll be happier when you are gone

‘Cause Lavender Brown, you’re going down
You may be hot, but Hermione’s hotter
I’m the Gryffindor king, but you can’t share my crown
Hermione’s great, and the problem is, you’re not her

So stop following me, stop giving me hickeys
I’m sick of your face, and I’m not taking the mickey

‘Cause Lavender Brown, you’re going down
You may be hot, but Hermione’s hotter
I’m the Gryffindor king, but you can’t share my crown
Hermione’s great; don’t forget that you’re not her

[spoken:]
I love you, Hermione!

credits

from Muggle Knitting Patterns, released July 24, 2006

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